So since my first encounter with Crocket and Tubbs I had returned to the Embassy on two separate occasions, I had no luck in trying ot get the visa and I could go on for hours about his particular subject, but oh my god it goes on forever. In total I spent 24 hours of my life actually in the embassy, in the end came down to a “clerical error” that resulted in me getting my visa. It was the 3rd of December and it was the final day before my flight (the 3rd flight actually, I had already cancelled the previous two and moved them forward because of the issues with the embassy). In the week leading up to this day the UNHCR had really pushed things forward, trying to get the visa application sorted out, they had contacted the Ministry for Foreign Affiars in Khartoum and got them to email this across to the Embassy in London, when I phoned to check if it had been received I was told NO in the usual helpful manner. So, I contacted the guys at UNHCR again and again they contacted the MFA, this time they faxed the report across to the Embassy in London to the number that I was given, I waited a couple of hours and was finally told… I phoned the embassy and asked “has my approval arrived, please tell me it has”, please call back in 10 minutes Mr Paul, Hmmm I’d heard these words before, I phoned back in 10 minutes… Mr Paul please call back in 10 minutes…. I could feel rage building within me again… its was all I could do not to scream Hulk Smash!!! Down the phone at this muppet. That was it, it was time to take matters into my own hand, time to storm the embassy and show them who the boss was…
I arrived at the embassy and pressed the buzzer for the door, I could hear Police car sirens sounding around me, but I managed to make it into the Embassy before they were able to get a location on me. Once inside I made my way to the Visa desk, I spoke to the man behind the desk. Hello, my name is Paul Stoakes, I am need to see the consul, the man behind the desk said, the consul is busy, he is seeing no one. This was something I had heard before, but this time I was not going to accept what he was saying, I nodded and said thank you, I will wait. I started my way to the waiting room which I had visited for many hours before… as I walked to the room, I could see the door on the other side of the room that had lead into the heart of the embassy, I changed my course and started towards this door, I wasn’t about to wait for another few hours, time to take action… as I got to the door I heard the man at reception shout halt! The armed embassy staff where upon me in seconds, I could guns being cocked around me, from this point I can’t explain exactly what happened, it was like at a subconscious level, as if I had some secret identity that even I didn’t know came to the foreground… I’d heard two Baretta 9mm’s being cocked, one to my 5 oclock, one to my 8… both men approached me, looking to apprehend me, I slowly raised my hands into the air and started to turn towards them, from this point it’s a blur, all I can say is that within seconds there were two unarmed embassy guards on the floor, clutching their groins and serenading Allah in the style of two Sopranos. I moved quickly towards the stairs, moving upwards, the first floor was my target, another guard came around the corner towards me as I was reaching the top of the stairs, as he reached into his jacket I punched him in the balls and then pulled him down the stairs… moving quickly down the corridor I made it to the end, the Consul’s door flew open and to my surprise the consul was in a meeting as I could see over his secretaries shoulder. She said ahh Mr Paul, I remember you from last time, is this about your approval letter? Err yes it is (feeling kind of embarrassed about the groin related carnage I had caused throughout the embassy), she turned around and wondered back into the office and picked the approval letter up from the Consul’s desk while he was chatting away, she brought it back and showed me, telling me I should go to the Visa department with this letter. I looked at the top of the fax and it was dated the 29th November, I could have gone back in there and given the consul several groin related injuries, but no, I must remain composed, this was what I needed, a week had been wasted, but it didn’t matter now… While waiting for the Visa the consul appeared, he did not look too happy, it appeared that the secretary hadn’t meant to give me the approval letter, it seemed that for whatever reason the approval was being held back by the members in the embassy, whether this was because of the bad press that Sudan is getting and they are trying to minimise entry or not I am not sure, but it didn’t matter now… I was on my way…
(For the record, some of the events described above may not have happened exactly as described, I am unsure of the facts, but it was very much like the Embassy scene from the Bourne Identity that I am sure of)