Well, what can I say, I thought that going to Sudan would be an amazing experience, but I am yet to find out. I have been to the Republic of Sudan Embassy a total of 3 times now, they love me, the just want me to keep coming back. Unfortunately, they don’t want to give me a visa for entry in to their country though… So let me tell you a story…
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I went to the Sudanese Embassy in London, Passport, Inoculation certificates and a letter of request for entry into the country from the United Nations High Commission for Refugees. I thought, what could be easier… how far from the truth could that be… so I got there and started talking to the receptionist, she said go sit over there (indicating the room filled with people who’s will to live was visibly at an all time low). So I sat and waited… then continued to wait… I went back to the receptionist and asked, should I just sit there, do I need to give you my name or some details “no, no, no, go and sit”, like an obedient little doggie I did as I was told… 10 minutes later a gentleman walked into the room, very snappily dressed (I’ve loved Silver shiny suits ever since Miami Vice and I knew that this man had too, Tubb’s was a snappy dresser). Everyone leapt to their feet as is the messiah had just entered the room, then from the throng of worshippers at his feet he picked one of them and led them off no doubt to cure them of leprosy or help them see again… Next another man in a snappy suit and a linen one at that (Crocket would have been proud of him), the same again, people rushing to him for further healing or solving of some crime involving Columbian drug lords. After this event I worked out what was happening, a “free for all”, how very un-British, had they never heard of the concept of queuing, how very uncouth. So I decided the next person to be seen would be me… and I made it happen, it was like British Bulldogs, there were men, women and children flying left right and centre as I made my way to the goal and bundled Tubb’s resulting in me getting his undivided attention…I explained to Tubb’s that I had everything that I need to request my visa and could I get this processed today. Tubb’s replied, “Do you have your letter of approval from the Sudanese Ministry of the Interior?”
Hmmm this wasn’t something I had anticipated, a thing which hadn’t been specified on the website in the calls that I had made to the embassy, I believe this was what they call a curve ball. I explained that I hadn’t, I only had what I had brought, so I asked what I needed to do to get one. Tubb’s replied “The UN must send a request the to the Sudanese Ministry of the Interior” But Tubb’s I have the letter here, could we not fax that across to the Ministry of the Interior. Tubb’s replied “No this must come from the UN’s office” But Tubb’s I could change my fax machine number to be the number of the UN’s office and there is no proof this came from anywhere, surely the contact numbers and the details of the people making the request in the letter?” Tubb’s “No!” Tubb’s Can I speak to someone in authority that might be able to assist with his? Tubb’s replied “You need to speak to Crocket, please sit down and wait” Hmmmm more waiting, but if he was the man to speak to then that is fine… it’ll all be sorted soon…
Now… what you need to do is read the above from the “So I decided the next person to be seen would be me…” again and again and again for the people I spoke to replacing the name of the person I was to see next with the next name in this list… Crocket, Cop1, Cop2, Cop3 and finally… The angry Chief of Police that always tears a strip of Crocket and Tubb’s for their “not in the book” antics.
Anyway the Chief of Police was actually quite useful to talk to, very helpful and understood the situation, he wanted to help me… after spending 3+ Hours talking to all those people I was really grateful of what he was going to do… my Friday had been well spent and things would move along nicely…
So, Monday I called and checked whether my letter of approval had been received, when I say called, I mean repeatedly and couldn’t get through to the visa department, eventually getting through to Tubb’s, he said no and that was it.
Tuesday, I called and checked whether… (fill in from above), eventually getting through to Tubb’s and he said, “err, No” followed by “err Yes”, so I have my confirmation, “Yes Mr Paul”. Ok Thanks Tubb’s I’ll be in on Thursday to pick up the Visa. Wow, that Chief of Police really knows how to get things moving…
(Ok I am now bored of writing this bit, as ever, in the best episodes of Miami Vice… to be continued)